Open Post: Hosted By Sammy Jo Dancing Us Into 2017

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I’ve posted the legendary clip from Dynasty of Sammy Josephine Dean Carrington serving up some husband-stealing sweet moves at a stuffy party before, but I’m posting it again, because everybody should watch it before their New Year’s Eve begins.

Not only is this pucker-inducing clip a tutorial on how to make everyone in the room take off their wedding rings and propose marriage to you, it’s also a tutorial on DANCE! Nobody should ever take Maroon 5 seriously, because that Moves Like Jagger song should’ve been Moves Like Sammy Jo.

If you find yourself having a boring ass time tonight and want to liven that bitch up, do what Sammy Jo did and tell the band to hit it before swirling out moves that will make half of the room combust into a geyser of jizz and the other half hit you with jealous glares. I’ll be spending my New Year’s Eve on a plane, so there’s a slight chance you may hear about a drunk gay getting dragged off of a plane by a regular Alexis Carrington (aka an air marshal) after refusing to stop Sammy Jo’ing in the middle of the aisle.

And all of us are hoping that 2017 won’t be nearly as awful as the Port-A-Potty fire that 2016 was. It’ll probably be worse, but let’s forget about that for now and instead get hypnotized by Sammy Jo spreading sex on a dance floor. Happy New Year!

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