Andrew Garfield Comforted Loser Ryan Reynolds With His Lips

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The Golden Globes turned out to be your theater queen friend who has seen La La Land a hundred times, has one of the songs as his ringtone and throws you the most disgusting look every time you say you haven’t seen it yet and really have no desire to do so. La La Land won everything including Best Actor – Comedy or Musical for Ryan Gosling. Ryan Gosling was up against the other Ryan, future Oscar winner (in his head) Ryan Reynolds for Deadpool. When Ryan beat Ryan, it wasn’t Blake NotSoLively who sucked the sad rejection out of him by sucking his face. It was Andrew Garfield. If you’re a Marvel nerd, lock the door, pull down your pants and grab the lotion.

Seriously, my thoughts and prayers are with the parents of gay Marvel nerds. Because I can’t even imagine what happened when nerds watched Deadpool and Spider-Man make love to each other’s mouths. I bet that many moms are going to walk into their sons’ rooms tomorrow and wonder why the carpet is covered with dried evaporated milk. “Were you making a dozen tres leches cakes in here or something?” is what mom is going to scream.

Deadpool and Spider-Man don’t do things to me, but I’ll take man-on-man action however I can get it. I was hoping that the man-on-man hotness would’ve rubbed off on Jake Gyllenhaal and Luke Bracey and made them tongue each other good.

Pic: @People, Getty

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