John Travolta Is Hydra, It’s All Over For Us Now

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“You see, if you cut off one head, a space squid grows two more, and that’s how Tom Cruise can fly. Sarah, come get audited with me. You’ll love it.”
“Are you pitching this to me because I’m a lesbian?”
“Haha! What? No. — Yes.”

Before we dive into the Golden Globes, and possibly never emerge, here’s John Travolta at the 17th Annual AFI Awards where he apparently rocked a Hydra pin. Which at this point in our history is actually a way more plausible scenario than whatever it probably represents to Scientology. Case in point:

“Hey, John Travolta, what’s with the pin?”
“It represents my clearing of the intergalactic bridge, which allows me to live for a billion years and heal the universe with a touch of my magic hands.”
“Wow, Jesus Christ, you should never say that out loud again. I’mma walk away and get some cheese balls now.”

Now let’s try it this way:

“Hey, John Travolta, what’s with the pin?”
“I belong to a secret terrorist organization that’s an off-shoot of the Nazis and wants to destroy Captain America.”
“Oh, so you’re a Trump voter. Okay.”

I rest my case.

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