It’s Safe For Kim Kardashian To Make Money Again, Hurray!


“Miss Kim, don’t panic. But there’s a rapist following behind us.”
“Dude, we rode in the same car…”
“He’s attempting to engage! MOVE! MOVE!”

On Monday, French police arrested the suspects in Kim Kardashian’s Paris robbery, so now’s the part where you not supposed to think it’s suspicious at all that not even two days later she’s flying to Dubai for an appearance because suddenly she feels safe now. It’s just so unsuspected and not something that’s been booked in months advance. Why would you say that? TMZ reports:

Kim Kardashian says the coast is now clear because cops in France have nabbed a bunch of people who allegedly robbed her … so she’s off to Dubai.
Kim breezed through LAX with Scott Disick and 4 security guards for the 16 hour flight.
As for why she’s going … we’re told it’s a make-good for a trip she cancelled to promote a makeup tutorial with her longtime beautician, Mario Dedivanovic.

And while all of that sounds plausible, there’s just one small catch. French police have been releasing suspects left and right. Via Page Six:

French investigators are keeping the brother of Kim Kardashian West‘s Paris chauffeur in police custody along with nine other people as part of their investigation into October’s $10 million jewelry heist.
Authorities decided to keep 27-year-old Gary Madar in custody Thursday as they released three men and a woman Wednesday night.

“Francois, vhat are you doing?”
“Ve are looking for a suspect who travels in a cloud of sulfur, non?”
“None of zem fit ze profile. I even checked ze veet for, how you say, cloven hooves. And DNA test show no signs of devouring babies.”
Sacrebleu. Let them go.”
“So vhat do we do now?”
“HER. MOM. — Why can’t they hear me?!”
“Vhy does zat one keeping baa-ing like a sheep? Monsieur! Non non to drugs.”

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