The White House Bromance movie just came to the most beautiful conclusion. Sorry, Hidden Fences, this thing is about to sweep the Oscars.
This is a better ending than literally any movie I have ever seen (including Whiplash which you should definitely see if you are into experiences where you scream and gasp for eight minutes straight). This is better than anything. What did we do to deserve such a beautiful example of friendship that comes to such a beautiful conclusion?
This is like every movie about a guy who loves his dog, except for, like, they’re both people. Or this is like Thelma and Louise except instead driving into the Grand Canyon one of them presents the other with the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Or this is like the last Lord of the Rings movie except instead of the ring it’s one of the highest honors in the land. And also the movie isn’t 12 hours long.
Gollum is still hanging around, though.
I can’t even handle this. Like the best BFFs in the whole world, the president surprised his best friend with the Presidential Medal of Freedom! This is so much more intense than when your bestie tells the waitress at Hoolihan’s that it’s your birthday so you can get free ice cream. This is a Presidential Medal of Freedom. As a surprise! Literally nothing will ever be better.
Every other surprise on Earth is trash compared to this. “Oh, an engagement ring and a fireworks show at Niagara Falls. Nice, but it’s no President Obama getting choked up while presenting Vice President Biden with the Medal of Freedom. I mean, sure I’ll marry you or whatever.”
Every other surprise is cancelled. Tell Ryan Murphy he’s got to figure out something else to do every five minutes of the next season of Scream Queens. Surprises are over.
President Obama started his remarks by saying “This also gives the internet another chance to talk about our bromance.”
To which I respond: OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH FOREVER I LOVE YOU!
Everyone, President Obama is literally talking to me right now. I will literally always write about this bromance. It’s my civic responsibility. This is why I always take a hard pass on jury duty; I’m busy writing about the bromance. It’s a higher calling.
And, just so we’re clear, I am always willing to be surprised by the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
I’m literally walking into every dark room expecting to see the entire press core and the president (this president only, thanks) holding a medal on a purple ribbon.
What more could you want?
In a heartfelt, teary-eyed speech that left everyone in the country a puddle on the floor, the Vice President spoke extemporaneously but elegantly about his deep abiding love for POTUS. Oh, I’m sorry, his deep a-Biden love.
At one point, when talking about the deep respect he has for Obama, he actually said the words “I give my word as a Biden.” That’s how good this family is. Their name means honor. I. DIE.
Later in the speech, he talked at length about the place that the president holds in his heart, a triumph for people everywhere who like to ugly-cry at work.
I just hope that the asterisk in history that is attached to my name is that I can say I was part of the journey of a remarkable man who did remarkable things for this country… This honor is not only well beyond what I deserve, but it’s a reflection of the extent and generosity of your spirit. I don’t deserve this. But, I know it came from the president’s heart. There’s a Talmudic saying that goes ‘what comes from the heart, goes into the heart’… I knew how smart you were, how honorable you are, how decent you are. I knew what you were capable of. But I never expected you’d occupy the Bidens’ heart.
I’m literally going to just breathe this in for the rest of my days. Obama definitely wins the White House Secret Santa this year.
This is #FriendshipGoals. This is #PresidentialGoals. This is #AaronBurrCouldNever. This is #PurpleIsSoInThisYear. This is the #BestBromanceEver.
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